Child Protection Chief: “Victims May Have Consented”

A senior official from Iran’s official child rights organization has said that some sexual relationships between adults and children are consensual, sending shockwaves throughout the capital and across social media sites.

Commenting on the widespread sexual abuse of children between the ages of eight and 11 at a West Tehran school, Mozaffar Alvandi, Secretary of Iran’s Council for Children’s Rights, told the Iranian Labor News Agency (ILNA) that some children “tend” to form a sexual attraction for adults. Alvandi made the statement after a school’s assistant principal was arrested for raping and sexually abusing six children over a two-year period. A further 35 cases of abuse at the school are being investigated.

“Scientifically some believe that at certain ages the tendencies and attractions of this kind are mutual,” Alvandi said. He said he did not believe all incidents of sexual activity between adults and children constituted sexual abuse because “force was not always used”.  In some cases, he said, the child might give consent for sexual relations.

Alvandi’s comments met with widespread condemnation from child protection professionals and the wider public. Developmental psychologist and university professor Mohammad-Jafar Safaei said it was wrong to imply sexual activity between a child and an adult could ever be classified as consensual: “The World Health Organization makes it clear that any sexual dealing with children under 18 is sexual abuse,” he told IranWire. A child is unable to give consent to sexual activity because he or she has not yet developed a full comprehension of the situation. Alvandi says the only time sexual consent can be given is when children of the same age become sexually active with one another.

Another psychologist, Dr. Rabe’e Movahed, agreed, adding that Alvandi’s statements were not based on fact or evidence. “Children can be easily deceived but in no way does this means that the child feels sexual attraction,” he said. It's vital, he added, to remember that rape is not only about extreme, obvious violence, where a victim is attacked on the street or held at gunpoint against their will. “An adult can easily deceive a child by playing the role of a kind fatherly figure,” he said, adding that child abusers will often present themselves as a reliable adult, capable of offering children the love or emotional support that might be missing from their lives. “This is rape,” he said,  “and the responsibility rests with the adult, not the child.”

Fay Maxted, Chief Executive Officer at the UK-based organization Survivors Trust, told IranWire that “children cannot consent to sexual acts or take responsibility for them. Anybody who says otherwise is simply lying to exonerate himself.”

The victims’ families have spoken about their devastation and trauma, which has been exacerbated by Alvandi’s comments. After one father reported that his son was behaving out of character, he complained to the school. Other parents reported similar behavior from their children, and details about the extensive abuse began to emerge. “The behavior of my son and one of his classmates had changed drastically,” one father said. "We had heard about the accusations against the assistant principal and it began to make sense.”

Parents of children who have been victims of abuse in other schools have also spoken out.  “I know how the parents of these children feel,” said one father, whose son was raped in a school nine years ago. For him, Alvandi’s comments have brought back painful memories of what he went through with his son, Omid. “What do children know about sexual matters?” he said.

When his son suffered from persistent nightmares and a loss of appetite and seemed to be permanently afraid of everything, he took him to a child psychologist. After several sessions, his son told him what had happened: a school official had taken him to the basement and raped him on several occasions, threatening to kill him if he told anyone.

Omid’s father went to the school; the man responsible was dismissed, though it was unclear whether any charges were brought against him. The ordeal was made public, but no media outlet covered the story.

“My son is 19 years old now. He doesn’t want me to talk to anyone about it,” he told IranWire, asking that the family’s surname not be published. It took Omid, who saw a psychiatrist up to the age of 15, a long time to recover.

As a child psychologist, Dr. Movahed has worked in pre-schools and primary schools and has studied the behavior of children who have been the victim of sexual abuse. Although pre-adolescent children are aware of their sexual organs and how they function," he said, "it is not accurate to say they have sexual desires. “It is ridiculous to say that an eight-year-old boy would ask a man in his thirties to have a sexual affair with him.”

The Child is Never to Blame, But they Pay the Price

Omid’s father recalls how his son became withdrawn, lost his self-confidence and was unable to form relationships with his peers. He continued to have nightmares and avoided certain situations. “Even now his is horrified by simple things. For example, every time the electricity goes out he panics,” he said, his voice shaky. “That damn man used to take him to the dark basement of the school and...,” he continued, breaking off. 

Kim Lee, who founded the UK’s Children’s Consultancy, which offers counseling and psychotherapy to children, says children who have been abused are often left with long-term psychological ailments, suffering from symptoms similar to the one Omid’s father describes. “The damage done by this kind of sexual abuse can take many shapes,” she told IranWire. “The abused children are always in a position of weakness. Seldom do they tell others about it and so they are condemned to suffer in silence. Depression, harming oneself and addictions are frequent results and in some cases the victims become abusers themselves. In most cases their future relationships are going to be unhealthy. The symptoms might not show themselves for many years.” She emphasized that the abused child is never to blame. “The children are never guilty or responsible,” she says.

“In most cases the victims blame themselves,” says Fay Maxted, “because the rapist has convinced them that it is their own fault. For years afterwards children pay the price.”

“Many children who are sexually abused consider themselves to be bad children because of what has happened,” agreed Dr. Safaei, “but if we give them the right education and tell them that ‘no matter how you behave and no matter how you dress, there are people who do wrong,’ then we can have some hope that they will report incidents without feeling shame, guilt or humiliation.”

“Sex education must start at six and continue until the child is 14,” Dr. Safaei said. “It has to start from the very beginning of a child’s education, at the same as mathematics or other lessons. At age six, a child must be taught the difference between a secret and a private matter. Many of those who abuse children convince the child that what happens between them is a secret that shouldn’t be told to anybody. All children must learn that their bodies are private. In the same way that they know no one is allowed to use their toothbrush, they must learn that nobody can touch their bodies.”

As we finished our conversation, Omid’s father repeated his request not to publish his son’s full name in my report. “Don’t make him go through this again,” he said.

With additional reporting from Natasha Bowler